Humor for writers – Writers’ idiosyncrasies by genres How many science fiction writers does it take to change a light bulb? Two, but it’s actually the same person doing it. He went back in time and met himself in the doorway and then the first one sat on the other one’s shoulder so that they were able to reach it. Then a major time paradox occurred and the entire room, light bulb, changer and all was … Read entire article »

Humor for writers – A dangerous book … A mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed around by his wife so he went to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist said he needed to build his self-esteem, and so gave him a book on assertiveness, which he read on the way home. He had finished the book by the time he reached his house. The man stormed into the house and walked up to his wife. … Read entire article »

Ode to the Spell Check   Eye halve a spelling chequer It cam with my pea sea It plainly marques four my revue Miss steaks eye kin knot sea. Eye strike a key and type a word And weight four it two say Weather eye am wrong oar write It shows me strait a weigh. As soon as a mist ache is maid It nose bee fore two long And eye can put the error rite Its rare lea ever wrong. Eye have run this poem threw it I am shore your pleased two no Its letter perfect awl the … Read entire article »

Humor for Writers – Punctuation Parable   According to Professor Albert Mehrabian, the three elements account differently for our liking for the person who puts forward a message concerning their feelings: words account for 7%, tone of voice accounts for 38%, and body language accounts for 55% of the liking.    Reading the 2 letters below, what percentage depends on punctuation ?   Letter 1 Dear John, I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, … Read entire article »

Humor for Writers – The Writer and the Blonde One cold winter evening, his muse on strike and diminished by a bad cold, a writer goes down to the nearest bar to get a drink and drown his sorrows. A luscious blonde is the new barmaid in the place so the writer’s eyes light up. “Hello there!” he says. “Hello sir,” she answers,” what would you like to drink?” “A douvle whisky,” he answers, his stuffed nose hampering his chatting skills. … Read entire article »

Humor for Writers – English Language Quirks Did you know that “verb” is a noun? How can you look up words in a dictionary if you can’t spell them? If a word is misspelled in a dictionary, how would we ever know? If two mouses are mice and two louses are lice, why aren’t two houses hice? If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words? If you wrote a letter, perhaps you bote your tongue? If you’ve read a … Read entire article »

Humor for Writers – The Writer, the Businessman and the Ten Commandments Once a notoriously ruthless businessman told Mark Twain, “Before I die I mean to make a pilgrimage to the Holy Land. I will climb Mount Sinai and read the Ten Commandments aloud at the top.” Disgusted, Twain replied, “I have a better idea. You could stay at home in Boston and keep them.” … Read entire article »

Humor for Writers – The Writer and the Tiger Tolstoy was a great pacifist and was once lecturing on the need to be nonresistant and nonviolent towards all creatures. Someone in the audience responded by asking what should be done if one was attacked in the woods by a tiger. Tolstoy responded, “Do the best you can. It doesn’t happen very often.” … Read entire article »