Humor for Writers – The Writer’s Widow

Humor for Writers – The Writer’s Widow

For 25 years, Becky has been complaining about how useless her husband Sidney was. :”He spends his days typing on his keyboard obsessively and talks to his agent more than he talks to me!” she bickered with her friends. That is, until Sidney died.
Sometime after her husband’s demise, Becky astonishes her friends by waxing lyric about what a thoughtful and wonderful man her late husband had been.
“Sidney thought of everything,” she told some friends. “Just before he died, Sidney called me to his bedside and handed me 3 envelopes.”
“Becky,” he told me, “I have put all my last wishes in these 3 envelopes. After I am gone, open them in sequence and do exactly as I have written. Only then can I rest in peace.”
“What was in the 1st envelope?” her friends asked.
“It contained £5,000 with a note, ‘Please use this money to buy me a nice coffin’. So I bought a beautiful mahogany coffin for him.”
“The 2nd envelope contained £10,000 with a note, ‘Please use this for a nice funeral’. I made Sidney a very dignified funeral and bought all his favourite foods for the shiva, including some fine malt whisky.”
“And the 3rd envelope?” asked her friends.
“The 3rd envelope contained £25,000 with a note, ‘Please use this to buy a nice stone’. So I did.”
Becky then held up her hand and pointed to her 5 carat diamond ring. “So,” said Becky, “You like my stone?”